I was inspired into this post by Eman - AquaCool.
When I was young and in my first year in university, I used to see the good in people. Assuming that everyone has good intentions and no one is bad in nature. As you all know, university is an open society in which you are projected to all kinds of people from different backgrounds and nationalities. Being put in such society after spending 12 years in a closed one, makes it tempting to meet new people and make all kinds of friends and so on.
And so I met a lot of people, backed with the assumption that all is good. But soon all of those assumptions went through the window. The more I meet people, trust people, and know people, the more I discover that some people are indeed bad in nature.
Taking it from that, I stopped believing in the saying: People are innocent until proven guilty. Now as you may have guessed it turned to: All people are guilty until proven innocent, and in most cases they’re not innocent.
In short; don’t trust anyone. Now that might seem a bit extreme. You may ask me how will you make friends if you don’t trust anyone anymore? I will tell you this: in this whole wide world I only trust one person other than myself and it’s enough for me. As for the others I don’t get too close, and that’s that.
If you want my opinion, the world has changed; and it’s hard to know the good people. So why putting yourself in a situation that might get you hurt? Assuming that everyone is good in nature will lead you to trust people easily, which makes it also easy for them to hurt you, whether they intend to or not.
Anyway, my point is that one should be careful while dealing with people, you don’t want to assume that all people are good and then discover the contrary the hard way, or when it’s too late!
March 4, 2008 at 11:19 pm
can you absolutely trust a person who doesn’t reveal everything for you for the person whom you decide to trust? can u trust someone and not be trusted back
March 4, 2008 at 11:36 pm
One should be careful, that’s what I believe in and try to always remind myself of. But to believe that all people are guilty until proven innocent is a very negative attitude I guess, besides, it’s not healthy.
March 4, 2008 at 11:44 pm
i agree. especially when I went to uni of Jordan. hahaaaa omg it was a very interesting experience.
you’re right though. this world is no longer innocent and naive. everyone knows even if they act like they dont.
March 5, 2008 at 12:30 am
Anon,
I didn’t really get your point, but my point is that I don’t want to trust anyone, and so I don’t expect anyone to trust me back, and so in a way I don’t want their trust.
Both ways, if you want to trust someone, make sure they trust you back at first I say!
Diana,
One should be careful that’s true, and well I can’t argue with you about the point that it’s a negative opinion to adopt, but I guess I’ve been through many bad experiences that left me believing so, I don’t know!
Dragonsvamp,
Exactly my point. But what I hate the most is when people are aware of that fact, and deiced to act like they don’t know, or act naive about it.
March 5, 2008 at 12:57 am
The older I get, the less I trust people! call me whatever you want, but I learned *(the hard way) that most people are ticking bombs .. one bad move and you can kiss your a$$ good bye!
March 5, 2008 at 2:03 am
Anon, what the hell was that? I felt stupid for a moment.
Anyway, I think that being careful is a must. However, I have to agree with Diana on this one because being a negative person will affect your energy before others.
Remember to always give people benefit of the doubt!
March 5, 2008 at 7:05 am
you touched a very important piece of wisedom, and btw many philosophers talked about this, it’s even in the quran that you will not find most of the people ( ولو حرصت) believers.
But there’s a catch here, and be careful. Humanity is evil, but human being isn’t evil ! Which means, humanity in general is ugly, the masses are ugly, however you will ALWAYS find unconquerable individuals, with the purest hearts, and those tiny few individuals are those moving our world and keep it in progress, they’re as one philosopher called them “The immovable movers”.
nice post buddy.
March 5, 2008 at 7:07 am
I will add more to my response.
How do I react to this ?
I first become an authentic reliable individual myself, then I seek those who are. If I get disappointed, I’ll get even stronger in terms of wisedom and correct decision-making. And trust me, at the end of the day, integrity prevails.
March 5, 2008 at 7:51 am
[...] fairly interesting post by Jasim (click here to read), triggered to write that was in my mind long time ago, and I think I pretty much said [...]
March 5, 2008 at 9:22 am
im assuming I AM that other person in the world sayed jasim :AbuGanweh: ref2et a5er zaman! lol
everyone is evil until proven otherwise. assuming everyone’s intention is good is something im guilty of too.. the closest ppl hurt us most coz they know most about us.. still that shudnt let us not trust anyone at all! u just have to test em, give it time before u dive in head first..
March 5, 2008 at 9:27 am
Qwaider,
Well I agree with you on that, the older we get the harder it becomes to trust people.
And well, unfortunately, most of us learned that the hard way.
Hala,
Don’t give anyone the benefit of the doubt, because one day you might regret it. We live in a jungle, and no life is not rosy.
Abed,
Thanks buddy.
Well I do agree with everything that you said, especially the last part, when one must be strong and to add to his wisdom.
I liked the last line, strong: Integrity prevails.
Dimz,
Tab3an tab3an. :-o:
Well you have to be more careful, even with giving people time, still sometimes they prove otherwise even after all of those tests, so I don’t know, I’d rather just cut it short from the beginning.
March 5, 2008 at 11:24 am
i agree to a certian extent…pure friendships are those built at a very early age…when intentions are pure and when you’re still somehow innocent
for me i’m lucky i had built a strong and solid friendship troughout the years..i’ve known one girl since i was 5 the other one since i was 12 and i trust both of them a lot…but those friendships i built when i’m older and not even compared to those 2 of course…i’m extra careful now and i’ve learned so many things the hard way…so my rule became: “better safe than sorry”
March 5, 2008 at 11:28 am
I agree, strong friendships are those who were built early.
Well you spoke my mind, I guess the point behind my whole post is to say: “Better safe than sorry”.
March 5, 2008 at 3:39 pm
Everybody guilty until proven otherwise.. I learned this lesson the hard way..Now I am very cautious, and I don’t let my guards down easily.. I don’t want to be disappointed or surprised.. It is unfortunate that we have to assume the worst in people but like they say here: Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me..
March 5, 2008 at 3:48 pm
Well all of us who learned this lesson, they did the hard way unfortunately.
You are absolutely right, one should never let his/her guards down no matter what.
Welcome to my blog.
March 5, 2008 at 4:48 pm
hmmmm..
u r so right!!!
alot of people r sick and twisted , they enjoy destroying other people’s lives .
March 5, 2008 at 4:59 pm
Thank you. Yes I do agree, but I will keep wondering why do they?!
March 5, 2008 at 11:20 pm
hmmmm…
not worth the calories u burn while thinking
just remember that they have nthn 2 do with thier lives so they turn 2 other people’s lives 2 entertain them selves.
March 5, 2008 at 11:24 pm
Again, you spoke my mind. Yes I really do think that they lead empty lives and that’s why they fill it with sick acts. Anyway Allah yeb3edhom o yes3edhom… Come to think about it, Allah yeb3edhom o MA yes3edhom.
March 6, 2008 at 12:37 am
I disagree with what Diana said, I think you are not only right, but your attitude is very healthy.
If you always expect the worst from people, you may occasionaly be pleasantly surprised, but you will never be disappointed.
If on the other hand you expect the best, you will almost always be disappointed.
I really don’t understand what Abed said about the purest of heart moving the world. Surely if that was true, the world would be a better place.
March 6, 2008 at 6:56 am
Hani:
The buildings you are living in, the car you drive, the cell phone u use, the internet you use, the computers you enjoy are products of dedicate pure hearts. It wouldn’t come to existence by cheating or evasion or by wasta, it came by direct dedication.
Of course a world full of evil is a bad place! I said few people are good and the majority is bad, then how do you expect the world to be better place ? if it’s not for them, we’d be gone.
March 6, 2008 at 8:51 am
[...] of Life « Gaza: Guilty A Scary World March 6, 2008 I was inspired by a post by Jasim and decided to share my two cents not only about trust, but about the general concept of [...]
March 6, 2008 at 10:00 am
Hani,
At first, thank you.
I totally agree with you, no expectations no disappointments, that’s my moto.
March 7, 2008 at 2:30 pm
Very well said Jasim, especially this part: “Assuming that everyone is good in nature will lead you to trust people easily, which makes it also easy for them to hurt you, whether they intend to or not.”
Again as I said in my reply to ur comment, you seem like a nice guy and I wish your share of good trustworthy people will be better.
Good luck
March 7, 2008 at 2:47 pm
That’s so nice of you to say. Thank you very much, Eman.
Well, I wish the same for you, and welcome to my blog by the way.
May 3, 2008 at 4:19 pm
All of you guys are wrong. People and everything is good in essence, life is rosy. That’s what our religions teaches us, who says otherwise is a non-believer.
And all of you are hypocrites, you say you don’t believe in goodness and honesty in people, do you live according to what you say?!! Then if you think you do, how could you trust anyone including your parents, for they could be part of a conspiracy on you.
Just love and spread love, love and let live
May 3, 2008 at 7:13 pm
Muhammad, my friend, take it easy man. It has nothing to do with hypocrisy nor with religion. It all comes down to what we live according to, and weather we live believing that all people are good or evil, it is a personal choice. But some of us chose to do so as a precaution.
Welcome to my blog.